i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
