That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
