The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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