does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
