I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
