Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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