I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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