I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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