Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
