trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
