My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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