walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
