We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
