I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
