All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
