bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
