i think my tv is drunk
two words: eviction party
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
