so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
