Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Still dying that you shit outside
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
