I didn't shave. On purpose
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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