I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
