paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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