Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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