Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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