Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
