how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Michael Bay diarrhea
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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