Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
