i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
