I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
only if we run a train.
done.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
vagina is talking i cant
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
