he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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