Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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