You really coming over, don't trick.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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