i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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