omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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