the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need to calm my uterus...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
