why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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