i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
