Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
