I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
