We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
