yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
