she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
