Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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