We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
