I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
