he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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