Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
