i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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