Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
