it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
