WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
PANTIES FOUND
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