Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
